Place the cold brewed coffee, softened cream cheese, granulated sugar, and unsweetened cocoa powder into a high-speed blender.
Blend on high for 30-60 seconds, or until the mixture is completely smooth and no lumps of cream cheese remain.
Pour the blended mixture into a shallow, freezer-safe container.
Freeze for 2 hours, stirring vigorously with a fork every 30 minutes to break up ice crystals and encourage a creamy, scoopable texture.
Serve chilled directly from the freezer.
Don't skip the intermittent stirring during the freezing process. This is the key to achieving a smooth, granita-like texture instead of a solid ice block.
Adjust the sweetness to your liking. You can easily substitute the granulated sugar with maple syrup or a powdered sweetener for a different flavor profile.
